Sunday, January 30, 2011

Indecent Proposal

Last weekend, I was at a wedding. My husband couldn't go because he had to work, but I went anyway because we were expected. I was seated at a table where there were 8 single guys! Eight single guys and one married woman!! Woody Allen couldn't have directed it better.
Initially I was bored (not surprising), but then I had some wine, the music found my beat, and I joined the crowd on the dance floor. I'm one of those people that don't mind dancing with... er, by myself, but of course it's always nice to have a partner. Or so I thought.

This guy who had been sitting at my table suddenly popped up right in front of me and started matching my moves. This continued on into the evening, with his drunkenness telling me how awesome I am, how I'm the only honest girl in there (?), etc, etc. You're wondering where's the whine? It's coming, believe me.

After a couple of hours I had a huge grin on my face, with no memory of what boredom even meant. I was in such a good mood that I actually laughed out loud when my accidental dance partner asked me to come to the bathroom with him so that he could bite into my tit!

"I'm sorry," I was still chuckling, "I thought you heard when I said to everyone that I was married."

"You're married?" He slurred.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on." I apologized.

"Come to the bathroom with me," he continued on completely unfazed "I want to put it up your ass."

 Even animals that don't speak human languages knew they should be appalled by this request. This guy, however, obviously comes from planet Asshole.

I must be an idiot for not punching him in the face right then and there. Instead, I continued trying to explain to him that I was married, that I had no interest in him, and that I was certainly not going to let him, or anyone else for that matter, put it up my ass. You see, at that time I was still under the influence of the previous few hours. I had actually been feeling grateful to this prick for giving me a good time.

What a fool I was. Not only did I fail to transmit my message to him, but he went on to tell me the vilest of things.

"I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't mean to lead you on." I was still saying.

"You know I have a huge cock," he went on. "And, I'd like you to suck it and swallow my sperm."

HOLY SHIT!! I can't believe that he just said that to me!! This is even worse than when that dude licked my shoulder last summer.

Slowly, I backed away from him, but not before telling him that he had spoiled everything, and that he was a jerk. I doubt he cared about either of those things.

I left home feeling conflicted, but most of all dirty. I was both disgusted and wrought with guilt. I understood in that moment how a woman who had been violated, could end up feeling responsible for the act. It wasn't until I moaned about this to a few friends that I realized that I'd done nothing wrong; that dancing with someone does not warrant an invitation to be abused.

Sadly, I think this experience has put me off flirting.
At least for a little while.

Has anyone else been a recipient of an indecent proposal? Please share. I'd feel better knowing that I'm not the only one attracting scum of the Earth.



  1. Oh.My.God. Jelena!! That's just awful! :-( I hope you managed to find out who he was and arranged to have someone go round to his place to shove his huge cock up his own ass?? Tell me you did...

    Can't say anything quite so gross has ever happened to me, but if it had, I reckon the perp would have ended up with a very pointy stiletto right where the sun don't shine.

    Grrr, that just makes me cross :-(

    CC x

  2. What's funny, Chloe, is that just before this incident, the bride's brother (whom I've known since childhood) had told me this dude is his best friend, and the best guy in the world. Ha!

    I forgot to say that I've come up with a perfect, yet non violent come back for next time. I'll say:

    "But I thought you were gay."

    That would've killed his ego right then and there.

  3. Oh my, that is brutal! You did not deserve that. I can't believe the nerve. Too bad you didn't think of that gay comment til too late!

    At the party after the wedding where I met Mr. NotSmitten a cousin of my cousin was sitting beside me, loaded, and slurs to me "I really want to make love to you right now." Out of nowhere, I wasn't even flirting. I just said "That will NEVER happen!" and managed to catch my cousin's eye. Fortunately they made him leave and sleep it off!

  4. OMG, Jelena! What a disgusting prick!! Even after you said you were married, yikes! That guy should watch his alcohol intake and maybe take a Social Interactions class (I *wish* those existed), I think. Not appropriate AT ALL. I'm so sorry you had to endure that.

    Oh, and your friends are right: in NO WAY is that your fault. I don't even think you were leading him on. You were just dancing and having a good time, not saying, "Hey, why don't we go to the bathroom so you can do depraved things to me." Hello!

  5. OMG this happened in RL? Wow. Sounds like something one of the nastier ficwards would do. Not ok at all! Thank you for sharing and of course, this was in no way your fault. What a prick.

  6. I'm pretty sure my eyes are bulging out of my head right now (like the pictures included in the blog). I'm single, in my 20's and live in a college town so I've heard a LOT of stories of people getting hit on in the worst ways but this is insane! I don't know what I would have done if I were in your shoes. You handled yourself far better than most people would in a situation like this! That's awful...what an ass!

  7. That is beyond indecent!

    The guy is a jerk Jelena. Probably worse, if he saw you again he'd apologize and blame the alcohol. Honestly if you ever saw him again you should feel free to tell him there was no excuse for his behaviour and you pity the girl that actually allowed his diseased cock anywhere near her.

    I was thinking just the other day about some indecent proposals I was in receipt of and how I should write a fanfiction and work them in for a laugh.

  8. LMAO! OMG Jelena, that is classic! I have never had an indecent proposal, but it would be entertaining.

    I don't do well with sleazy guys though. Example: Once my old works company party, some friend of an employee kept dancing way too close and trying to feel me up...I'd had enough & grabbed him by the chin really tight like you would a naughty kid and proceeded to say "Get your fucking hands off of me or I'll do this to your balls." Needless to say, he stopped. I'm a feisty bitch.

    xo J

  9. Ok that 1st sentence of second paragraph made no sense...not going to delete. It was supposed to say My old work had a company party...."

  10. Ugh, what a swine. I have no words. I pity the poor woman who ends up marrying him. It's too bad you can't post on his Facebook profile what a douche he is.