Wednesday, December 28, 2011

In-Laws Incoming!!!

Well, hello there, dear whiny, bitchy friends! Long time no rant!

I hope you've all managed to enjoy a drama-free Christmas filled with goodies. I could whine about my Christmas experience (and the complete lack of gifts for me to unwrap) but I won't. Oh no. Today I have even worse issues of whininess to share with you all. Come join me in my nightmare!

This is a pretty accurate depiction of my current state

I have spent today completely and utterly indulging my need to stay glued to Twitter and the Interwebz. I have avoided the household chores that really need to be done, with the exception of shoving the few net curtains we have into the washing machine and hanging them back up again.

Why my current state of apathy, you ask?

Well, let me tell you, it is well-deserved. You see, tomorrow I'll be picking my mother up from the train station and bringing her to stay in my house. In. My. House....... In. My. Neglected. House. And she will judge. Fear not: she will judge.

She kinda looks nice in this. The reality will be far less so...

No matter that I work all the hours God sends, have a house-full of males, and really can't be arsed to be domesticated in my spare time (my spare time is devoted to the Interwebz - just like everyone else's is, right?). I will be judged on my general lack of domestic input.

But that's not all. Oh no, dear whiny friends. That is definitely not all.

On Saturday - the last day of this busy, busy year - my parents-in-law will also be coming to stay. In. My. House. For TWO WHOLE NIGHTS.

My mother-in-law can talk the hind leg off a donkey. (If you don't understand this phrase, just click the link....). And my father-in-law, bless him, has a tendency to fall asleep within minutes of arrival. Plus, he has been wearing the same woolly jumper for years. YEARS, I tell you. I despair...

So basically, my house is going to be overtaken by the next generation along. And I'll be expected to be the 'hostess with the mostest', the doting daughter / daughter-in-law, all sparkly-eyed and fresh and pleasant.

All I really want to do is lock myself in my room with my laptop and read fanfic / ogle Tumblr posts / tweet / blog / Hell! Maybe even write a little! Is that so wrong?


This post was brought to you from the UK by CC x


  1. CC!! OME! My thoughts are with you during this very difficult time. Seriously, I just had a houseguest over Christmas, and she wasn't even a neat-freak (or related to me), and that was stressful enough!!

    When my mother comes over to my house, she rearranges things. In front of me. While yammering about anything that pops into her head. Just remember: this, too, shall pass... and I will help you make a stiff cocktail when it does. ;) Hang in there!

  2. Wow, you might be living one of my nightmares! I stopped after the first line because I needed a glass of wine just to read this! Spent 6 hours with my in-laws Sunday and that was plenty.

    My advice: Spend rest of night taping Rob porn to the insides of every drawer and cupboard for a quick fix at any moment it is needed. Fill all of your flasks (good dear I hope you have more than one) and stash them in convenient locations. Then begin your visit with "Wow, my stomach is feeling a little..." then run to bathroom. Your excuse for the amount of time spent in there secure.

    Good luck and may Edward be with you!

  3. You didn't get any Chrisas gifts??? I want to cry.

    I am sorry you have to deal with so many parents at once. Just always remember what you don't like and don't do it to your children ;)

  4. That of course should say Christmas.

  5. @musingbella I'm SO looking forward to the cocktail! Can you make sure it's incredibly potent? I've a feeling I'm going to need it :-/

    @inotu Excellent idea! I'll have my iPod on my person at all times - that's where most of my RobP0rn is stashed. I can also fall back on the back injury situ, as @LoriAnnTwiFan suggested via Twitter recently :-)

    @Dangrdafne Indeed. The only Christmas gift I've received so far has been from my Secret Santa at work - a Costa Coffee thermal mug (my coffee at work regularly gets cold, since I'm always dragged away to meetings etc.) *shrugs* MrCC and I don't exchange gifts - we haven't done so since the #Things arrived on the scene. But you're so right: "remember what you don't like and don't do it to your children" - that is my intention!

    Hope you all have a slightly less fraught NYE than me!

    CC xx

  6. CC! OME, Twitards to the rescue... *cue lycra and capes aplenty*

    I agree with the above comments, especially the bit about the flasks and the bathroom. We are here for you. I repeat.

    We. Are. Here. For. You.

    That's the awesome thing about Twitards, because we're an international community, there is always someone lurking on twitter who can help.

    Cue singing 'Stand By Me'....

  7. Ugh, I know the IL dread. Mine are kind, loving people, but they're... different from my people. Quite.

    Look, here's what your Mom should know that you probably shouldn't tell her. Your house is not up to her stratospheric expectations because you are too busy doing things that make you HAPPY, like talking to your h00ry friends and reading fanfiction. Life is effing short, and you could get to the end of it with a perfectly spotless house... but that would be just plain sad. Life is for living! (This is my new mantra.) So if she's going to criticize you anyway, let the dust bunnies hop around, put up your feet, and at least be good and drunk by the time your ILs arrive. :)

  8. I'm so glad I don't have in-laws yet!! Goooood lucks!

  9. This is when I am very happy to have never even met my husband's parents - ever! They aren't on the best of terms, and I sometimes feel my son is missing out on the two-sets-of-grandparents life. This post makes me thing that is absolute rubbish and he has everything he could ever need with one set.

    Use the back, love. Use the back. Skype me if you need me - I'm here ANY time! xoxo