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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Divorcery



Alright, ladies, so far I have completely resisted coming on here and bitching about my failing marriage or my now-impending divorce, but I am FED UP tonight (and a little tipsy).  Some of you know the circumstances behind why I'm getting divorced. For the rest of you, just know that I see no other way to continue in life. I do take the vows I made very seriously, apparently he didn't.  In a nutshell, he changed his mind about what he wanted and he stopped caring about me. 

So, anyway, I filed on Monday.  Today I got a package from the court. "Holy shit!" thought I, "That was so fast!"  Oh, but no, dear reader.  See, there are about 537 forms you can potentially fill out in my county to get a divorce, and I happened to pick the one that was correct for everything except our level of debt.  I think what happened was that the threshold was cumulative, whereas I was thinking of each debt as individual and they were all - independently - below the threshold. Even my attorney/friend who helped me got that wrong, and she just called to apologize and say how fucked up my county is.  So now I have to get STBxTH back over here, sign some more shit, get it notarized, and then go turn it in. Thank FUCK I have Tuesday off, so I can go file again.  And thank FUCK again that they're not charging me extra, because divorce is, like, 17 times more expensive than my marriage license was.  Just to file - that's not including the lost income, increased taxes, increased expenses when you're paying on your own (although I already was, so my regular expenses are actually reduced, ironically).  Anyway, I guess they're not being assholes, but it's just SO frustrating.
Where's my Easy Button?

So then, I e-mail STBxTH about when he could get together to sign and notarize and everything and I explain the situation and he says, "That must have been very frustrating for you."  Fuck you, Observo, Master of the Obvious.

Luckily, both he and a notary I know can come over on Sunday AM to fix this fuck-up. I just don't understand - why do there have to be so many goddamn forms? Why not just ONE form: Do you want to get divorced? Check yes or no.
Like the opposite of this. Or exactly like this, and I could just check "No."
 
I'm just ready to be done with this, you know?  This shit has been coming since February, that I know of, and we made the decision at the end of June, which now feels like fucking forever ago.
  
Who wants to throw me a divorce party? 'Cause I kinda want one...

I feel better just for bitching about this, which is, I guess, the whole point of this blog. :-)  So thanks, everyone, for making this little blog a reality.  I have further gripes about work, but I'm rarely motivated enough to write a post anymore.  Have you noticed?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck – if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left. – Anonymous  

11 comments:

  1. I say we at least have a toast to you in Forks. Although I would love a divorce party too. Sorry this wasn't as easy as one would hope. Good luck on Sunday. All will be well and as always we are all here for you. Hugs

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  2. E, I'm really sorry that things didn't work out for the better. It's all a p-i-t-a!

    You think that they would look over the papers when you turn them in? Jeez! Yes, thank F that they don't charge for the correction.

    I drank my bottle of wine last night, so I'll have a scoop of ice cream w/you instead.

    I'll give you a hug & buy you a "beverage" of your choice in Forks!
    Take care and keep the 'ol chin up!

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  3. I feel ya'. I've been through this myself this year.

    Hang in there. Go get a good lawyer if that's what it takes to make sure you don't get cheated out of your fair share.

    My husband offered me the house + cash if I wouldn't touch his 401k. At first I was insulted that he thought I needed him to give me anything. I just wanted it over with. But then I agreed because I was pissed off. So, he wound up having to rape his 401k to pay off the house & me! Duh! And my 401k is untouched!

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  4. Oh divorce process can be one shitty neverending mess. Stay strong and focused and on top of the whole thing. Whine here when you want anytime because unfortunately with divorce, it'll prob get worse before all is said and done.

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  5. Do you know why divorces are so difficult? Because they are worth it.

    I hope you can soon put this hassle behind you & move onto better times.

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  6. So sorry you're having to go through this hun. But, as others have said: stay strong, whine all you like, and we'll all be here for you.

    Oh, and as for a divorce party? Hmmm, Imma thinkin' we could sort that in Forks!

    CC x

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  7. Divorce party, huh? What does one do at a divorce party? Play games like Pin The Money On The Lawyer and Spin The Scotch Bottle? Or does everyone take turns bashing a pinata in the shape of your ex's head that spills out all your wedding gifts? Hmm. Sounds like fun. Let's do it!!

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  8. @LwE - I would go to any theme party you throw - those are excellent suggestions. I don't actually know what people do at a divorce party, but I like where your head's at. :)

    Everyone - thanks for the support. I am just ready to move on and I'm tired of this process. But I'll make it through and be stronger for it. Partially thanks to all of you! <3

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  9. Hi! I just caught up on this post. I think we did a pretty good job of toasting "Fuck you, douchebag!" with our Washington Red Apples last week, yes? ILYSFM x

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  10. Divorce.Blows.Douche.
    I hate what you're going through, and can't wait to raise my glass with ya when all is said and done. Just know, you are totally making the right fucking decision! I used to hang out at a local bar, and the bartender had a fantastic phrase he would use when there's just nothing else to say: "Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish heads."
    That about sums it up. Of course, you know I'm right there with ya, as I have my own STBx who I would love to make forcefully sample his own ballsack. Fucking boys...

    Love you hard.
    xoxo
    E

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  11. I heart you! Divorce party in FOOOORKS!

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